By Diana Stiles
dstiles@hcc.mass.edu
For Sebastian on the occasion of his 11th birthday
When the mountains lay in mist,
If you can not find your way,
When the winds blow hard upon
Your days and time will not obey,
Look to the breath within you,
For that is your direction:
The toucan’s rainbow,
The platypus with her young,
The owl’s most vigilant orbs,
And the kitten’s pounce ---
All are one.
And these will hold you close.
And so your guides will be:
To offer hope and give you rest,
To share your faith, to be your verity.
I believe Sebastian appreciated the verse I wrote for his eleventh birthday because he knows the love with which his mother wrote it. Illustrating the verse with some of his favorite animals -- the Central American toucan, New England owl, Australian platypus and domesticated cat -- I hoped to celebrate his profound attachment to nature in her great diversity. I wanted to remind him of the potent animal guides available to him in his life’s journey and through those rapidly approaching teen-age years. As a relatively older first-time mother of my only child -- I was 42 when Sebastian was born -- I admit to doting on my boy. However deep the emotional connection between us now and (I hope) forever, my intellectual self knows the time is approaching when I will need to step back and allow Sebastian to rely on his self-knowledge and powerful gift of intuition. But, like most mothers, I pray there will always be the hand of God and the breath of Goddess to keep Sebastian safe and sound. While he will always be my baby, the truth is that Sebastian has always been his own person; even during those days he traveled so close to my breast in the traditional Mayan rebozo (shawl/baby sling) that we brought home from his birthplace in Antigua, Guatemala.
At eleven Sebastian is increasingly individualistic. While he was always a great reader from an early age and a delightful conversationalist, it seems that his vocabulary has taken a new leap toward sparkling expression and well argued opinions. I don’t think I have ever “talked down” to him, but now we are engaging in rather mature political conversations, highfalutin literary discussions, ethical debates and an ever-broadening array of subjects. I find myself musing on where this developing intellect will lead my son. Will he continue to study cello into his college years, will he become an architect or veterinarian, embrace the life of an academic, might he chose diplomacy or politics, all areas for which he shows much interest and potential? Will he decide to learn Spanish and eventually return to Guatemala, embrace the cause of social justice and change things for the better among the Maya? Perhaps he will become intrigued by science or art, philosophy or business. I have never made a secret of my hopes and aspirations for Sebastian and he must know by heart the adage I often declare, “to whom much is given much is expected.” In my heart of hearts I know Sebastian fulfills this challenge everyday and his capacity to do so will come to fruition time and time again throughout his life. I know this even when he says, “Mama, you expect too much from me sometimes.” Don’t get me wrong. Sebastian and I have always have lots of light times together. We laugh at everything from the sublime to the ridiculous, are highly irreverent, and know the importance of embracing the sillies regularly. Even though I am not always around when Sebastian and his friends are together, I suspect his light-hearted, self-deprecating comedic self is very much present on the playground and in the hallways at the Fort River Elementary School.
At the very least and at the very most I want my son to be content with his life and in his choices. While that doesn’t negate the unavoidable struggles life presents, I suspect Sebastian will grow ever more fully in those traits that I have seen in him since infancy: compassion, humor, balance, kindness, intellect, reflection, stamina, patience, and healing. (I am afraid I sound like a like a stage mother!) All of these qualities shone forth in Sebastian the evening he met and was embraced by Rigoberta Menchu Tum.
Rigoberta Menchu Tum, born in 1959, is an indigenous Kiche Guatemalan. In 1992 she was awarded the Nobel Peace Laureate in recognition of her tireless efforts to publicize and promote indigenous rights in her home country. She is a UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador and recently formed an indigenous political party, Encuentro por Guatemala, standing for President of Guatemala in 2007. Her autobiography, I, Rigoberta Menchu (1983), was one of the first books I read after our adoption papers were finalized and I realized I was to become the mother of a son with indigenous roots. When he was old enough, I began to tell Sebastian about this woman who has devoted her life to ethnic and cultural reconciliation. While circumspect in how we discuss the many tragedies attendant to his birth country, I have been quite forthright with Sebastian in speaking about the prejudice, genocide, and inequities in as he matures. Of course, and perhaps to an even greater degree, Sebastian is keenly aware of the rich cultural history of the Maya, its vibrant artistic contributions, scientific insights and complex spiritual panorama. Without the dark, we cannot experience the light.
When I learned that Rigoberta was presenting a talk on “Healing Communities Torn by Racism and Violence” at Amherst College, I grabbed my coat, my beret, and my son (not necessarily in that order) and headed to the Amherst campus. Sebastian and I read one another’s minds and stopped to purchase some flowers for Rigoberta. I left it up to Sebastian to pick the flowers. His eyes lit on deep purple and lilac carnations and that was that. “She will like these colors,” he told me. Bearing purple flowers in transparent wrap with colorful ribbons for someone we felt we already knew, we arrived at Johnson Chapel at Amherst College. Through serendipitous events, we were able to count ourselves among a very small group of people who were personally introduced to Rigoberta before the lecture.
Rigoberta entered the reception area, garbed in a traditional woven multicolored huipil and head wrap, accompanied by her sister similarly dressed. Sebastian whispered to me, “she is a little cupcake of a lady!” I will never forget those sweet and spontaneous words as we came face to face with a woman whose very essence conveyed the sorrows and the joys of my son’s birth heritage. While her diminutive stature is typically Mayan, her presence is equally superlative! She focused intently when I introduced Sebastian, telling her about his adoption and how I was sure he would be more than just a bystander in the truth and reconciliation work embraced by an increasing number of Maya activists, academics and others.
First things first. The two hugged and then Sebastian presented Rigoberta with the bouquet. She held the purple and lilac close to her, smelled the flowers and seemed to memorize them. The vibrant colors of the blooms and her huipil enveloped my son and this “little cupcake of a woman. She handed the bouquet to her sister for safekeeping. There was some discussion between them and I heard Rigoberta tell Sebastian he must come to Guatemala one day and work with the other young activists. He nodded and smiled. I asked if she would be declaring her run for the presidency sometime soon. She only offered a coy smile and through her translator said, “we’ll see; but if I do perhaps you should come and help to monitor the elections!” Before we knew it, the time for her presentation arrived. She appraoched her sister who was still holding Sebastian’s flowers. With deliberation and certainty, Rigoberta Menchu Tum pinched off two deep purple flowers, held them in her strong hands and walked, with great dignity and humility, to the podium.
And these will hold you close.
And so your guides will be:
To offer hope and give you rest,
To share your faith, to be your verity.